Booked myself a holiday
Somewhere in the sun
Six thousand degrees or so
Is hot enough for anyone
Happiness is not enough
I demand euphoria all of the time
So said Calvin to Hobbes
And it’s like he read my mind

Do you know what I mean when I say that I feel like foreign currency?
Kept in a jar on your window sill
Waiting for your next holiday
It’d be a shame if I was replaced
Like Deutschmarks Drachma Franks and Lira
It’d be OK if you took me away and left me
Somewhere in the sun

The ashtray gives the game away
I haven’t slept a wink
Got up every hour or so
To piss in the sink
I wish I had a million me’s
I’d send them out like bumblebees
To fertilise the flowers that grow
On the slopes of the Pyrenees

I can’t draw any conclusions
But I can draw quite convincing polar bears
I would like to turn my life around
But that would be like
Convincing polar bears to tap dance
Or go vegetarian

Did something inexplicable
Riding on my bike down hill one night
I’d like to say it was the brakes that failed
But actually I shut my eyes
Just for a minute or two I flew
Till I swerved into the curb and went over the handlebars
Thankfully there where no cars
But I’ve still got scars

Do you know what I mean when I say that I feel like I’m tap dancing on thin ice
Left to my own devices I just can’t decide if I’m indecisive
Stretching metaphors like rubber bands round letters in a postman’s hands
Going about his rounds pretending he’s a bumblebee.